Lockdown lingo – are you fully conversant with the new terminology?

Coronacoaster

The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”.

Quarantinis

Experimental cocktails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.

Blue Skype thinking

A work brainstorming session which takes place over a videoconferencing app. Such meetings might also be termed a “Zoomposium”. Naturally, they are to be avoided if at all possible.

Le Creuset wrist

It’s the new “avocado hand” – an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.

Coronials

As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.

Furlough Merlot

Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.

Coronadose

An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.

The elephant in the Zoom

The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.

Quentin Quarantino

An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

Covidiot or Wuhan-ker

One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.

Goutbreak

The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.

Antisocial distancing

Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.

Coughin’ dodger

Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.

Mask-ara

Extra make-up applied to “make one’s eyes pop” before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.

Covid-10

The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve”.

…and finally, finally: One sentence to sum up 2020, so far: At one point this week, 1 loo roll was worth more than a barrel of crude oil!

Google Shopping Update

Google is making the majority of product listings in the Shopping tab FREE for merchants!

**UPDATED 5th May 2020**

Advertisers’ paid campaigns will be augmented with free listings on Google Shopping in the UK and Europe from today, which are open to any merchant who has submitted a feed in the Merchant Centre.

WHAT IT MEANS TO ADVERTISERS:

  • Advertisers are now automatically opted in to “surfaces across Google” which means that free listings will be eligible on the Shopping tab. To check, go to the Growth tab in Merchant Centre under Manage Programmes
  • We don’t think that this is actually going to to have a major impact on advertisers since, despite the large volume of listings on the Shopping tag, the majority of Shopping ad clicks come from the SERP (Search Engine Results Page), and this will remain an exclusively paid for ‘surface’
  • There will still be paid listings in the Shopping tab – probably at the top and bottom
    Surfaces across Google

WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS?

  • The first reason Google is taking this path is in response to the massive gain in product advertising share for Amazon in the last few years.
  • Secondly, it will raise the profile of the Shopping tag, and appeal to consumers as well as advertisers. Potential new advertisers can ‘try before they buy’ and become familiar with the platform before deciding whether to pay for product ads.
  • The change will raise awareness of the Shopping platform
  • Lastly, in Europe at least, it improves Google’s argument that it is opening Shopping to competition, complying with the EU’s competition ruling that saw the company fined $2.4bn in 2017, which it is currently appealing.
Google’s own line is that it has introduced the change to help struggling businesses who can’t afford to advertise at scale. They claim to have brought the plans forward in response to current crisis.
We feel that this is a good move in many ways for both consumers, retailers and Google, and it will indeed go some way to combat Amazon’s dominance in product listings.
We will watch with interest to see how the change affects advertisers in the US, and of course we will discuss with our clients individually.

 

A day in the life of… Josh!

Tell us a bit about yourself…

After spending three years at University in Bristol and graduating with a degree in Business Management, I came back to sunny old Devon to pursue a career in digital marketing. Having spent the last 3 years working as a Digital Manager within a full-service marketing agency, I recently joined the team at Launch Online to further hone my craft and surround myself with fellow PPC geeks!

What’s your job role at Launch Online?

Account Manager, where I’ll usually be working across a wide range of clients which involves analysing and optimising digital activity, ensuring that online marketing efforts are as effective and efficient as possible. Due to current events, my role has changed slightly, where I’m now using my experience in web usability, to provide our clients with valuable insights as to how they can make their customer’s online journey more seamless and ultimately drive more conversions, in what is a difficult time for most businesses.

What would a typical day look like for you?

I’m not sure I’ve come across a typical day yet! First thing, I’ll usually catch up with the rest of the team, and then will begin to crack on with whatever tasks come my way. These can vary from assisting my colleagues, to auditing accounts internally or exploring client websites and researching their competitors. I also always try and put some time aside to learn new skills, and keep up to date with the latest goings-on in the world of PPC. Right now I am learning advanced Google Tag Manager skills!

What is something you look forward to everyday?

Learning something new about the fast-evolving world of digital marketing! Outside of that, it’ll be checking in on performance after making tweaks to a campaign, or finding new ways to improve our clients’ websites.

What do you like most about your job at Launch Online?

The team dynamic is great, and as well as being good fun, provides a strong foundation for creative thinking and new ideas. I’m relishing the opportunity to learn from the rest of the team, who all have their own unique wealth of experience.

How do you wind down after a day at work?

Outside of work, I’ll usually be found kicking a football around, watching a gritty crime drama, eating too much or re-repairing some poorly constructed DIY I’ve already put together at home!